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When the adult entertainer is not on talk shows and current affairs programs discussing US President Donald Trump's alleged bed manners, or lack thereof, she can be found on her own cooking show.

Cooking with a bare midriff sounds like a recipe for oil-spatter agony, but Stormy Daniels – the noted adult film actor and apparent one-time bedmate of the current US president – doesn't seem to set foot in the kitchen in this dispiriting little series.

She and her bikini stay outside by the pool, mixing cocktails and delivering such startling insights as "sake is made from rice and water" while a hand-held camera lingers unsteadily on her various curves.

Stormy Daniels on Bikini Kitchen.

Photo: Amazon Prime

All the cooking is handled by another bikini-clad woman (who is not a porn star) who goes by the mononym Halla. She operates in a dated, grimy-looking home kitchen, and who – let's be as kind as possible – is distinctly lacking in culinary technique.

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Her "cordon blu fin tuna", with its thick, ragged slices of half-cooked fish laboriously sandwiched between slices of onion, mango and avocado then drowned in dressing and buried in pea shoots should put you right off your dinner.

If not, you might like her "surf and turf orgy". This involves the stacking of various bits of ostensible seafood – including imitation crab meat – into strange little towers. It also involves some momentary consternation on Halla's part when a thick slab of steak dropped on a nearly cold grill doesn't magically cook itself in a matter of seconds.

It's possible to read Daniels' segments as a joke that she's in on, but Halla seems 100 per cent earnest about her whole disaster, which is … well … sad.

Stormy Daniels' Bikini Kitchen is available to stream on Amazon Prime Video.

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