The only kind of nervousness that belongs in the bedroom is the exciting, scary-wonderful feeling that happens when you’re first sleeping with someone new and exciting.
Feeling genuinely nervous or anxious about sex, on the other hand, shouldn’t be part of the deal. But, Superdrug asked 1,000 people from the US and Europe how they feel about sex, and it turns out that sadly, nervousness is a big part of being sexually active.
One of the things that people find most nerve-wracking about sex, is positions. Now I’ve written before about how sex positions are a load of rubbish and how pretzel sex is not your friend. But twisty-turny love making is still something a lot of couples engage in.
Sometimes changing up your position is fun. But not if it’s a source of stress for either of you.
A massive 56.8% of women and 42.7% of men said that the idea of trying to do 69 while standing up scared them. Which, to be honest, makes a lot of sense.
Have you ever tried to support another person’s body weight while giving oral sex? And even if you’re the one being picked up, the idea of being dropped on your head because your partner has reached climax? Not good. No-one is having fun in that scenario.
54.6% of women are extremely concerned about the idea of having anal sex, and 30.5% of men feel the exact same way. We’ve written before about how anal sex is definitely not compulsory and not something you should feel obliged to try if it doesn’t appeal. To reiterate – if you want to try anal sex that’s fine, but if it’s an idea that makes you feel a bit queasy, you’re perfectly justified in saying hell no.
Other activities which can prompt anxiousness are sex standing up (16.6% of women are worried about this – and I’m willing to be that’s largely based in worries about being too heavy) and the ‘kneeling wheelbarrow’ position which made 24.8% of women worried and 16% of men.
It’s entirely possible to have a great, exciting, lovely, brilliant sex life without having to do things which make you nervous, especially things which are physically difficult.
Sex is supposed to be fun. Consensual, enjoyable, and fun. If the idea of doing something with a sexual partner is giving you nervous butterflies that’s one thing, but if you’re genuinely worried about a specific sex act then please, don’t push yourself into it.