Generally an activity for the more experienced sexual adventurer, sounding is the act of sliding a (very well lubricated) rod down the urethra – the bit of your anatomy that you pee out of – for pleasure.
And strange as it may seem, plenty of people do just that and it’s more popular than you might imagine.
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Inserting something into your tender bits sounds ouchy, but plenty of people get off on it. And yes, women do it too.
But this particular fetish isn’t straightforward – you need to do your research first and take care all the way.
This is made simpler for men by the fact that the entrance is obvious and the internal tube is straighter and longer. Women’s urethras are far more discreetly tucked away so even greater care needs to be taken to avoid damaging the delicate tissue.
Plenty of adult stores now stock sounding equipment.
Jess Wilde is Lovehoney’s resident expert on all things poke-y, so I asked her what it is that makes sounding pleasurable:
As with most sex play, there are two main reasons to explore urethral sounding – for the physical benefits and also for the psychological turn on.
The urethra is lined with super-sensitive nerve endings, which can be extremely pleasurable when stimulated. Additionally, for those with a penis, deep urethral play is the only way to directly massage the prostate.
For those with a vulva, the urethra is extremely close to other pleasure zones and actually passes straight through the internal anatomy of the clitoris/G-spot.
Psychologically, many people find the fact that they’re doing something ‘unnatural’ a turn on. For people with a penis – who so often tend to be the penetrators, rather than the penetrated – to have something inserted into their genitals is a complete headf***. In a good way.
Jess Wilde's guide to safe sounding
Urethral sounding is what we would classify as ‘serious sex play’. This means there are some rules which need to be adhered to in order to ensure play is safe, as well as enjoyable. For sounding, the rules are as follows:
Never insert an item that is not designed for urethral sounding into the urethra – this includes fingers.
Always use a sterile water-based lubricant.
Always sterilise toys.
Clean your hands and genitals thoroughly prior to play. You may even prefer to wear gloves.
Never force anything. Seriously, never. Urethral sounding is slow play. If you don’t have patience, you shouldn’t explore urethral sounding.
Use the right toy – you should never go too big or too small when you sound. Choosing a toy that is too thick can result in overstretching/tearing the urethra, and a metal sound that’s too thin can result in a puncture.
Never push through pain, particularly sharp or very localised pain.
Always urinate straight after play to flush your urethra of any lube or bacteria that may have been inserted.
It may sting a bit when you pee afterwards, but this is normal and should last no longer than 24 hours. If you’re still experiencing stinging after more than 24 hours, if there’s real or progressive pain or any sign of puncture (blood or sebum), contact a medical professional.
I had two companions in my investigations into sounding – James is pretty experienced with weird sex stuff, but Ben is a fellow beginner. They agreed to try out some of the products for me. I really do have the best – and most tolerant – male friends.
Given that he’d never tried sounding before, I’d expected Ben to be a bit freaked out, but he proved himself pretty game.
He tried a Titus stainless steel sound and a shorter ribbed one from Sinner – the latter is hollow in order to allow fluids to pass through. Yes, I looked a bit boggle-eyed at that, as well.
So, what did he think?
I wasn’t really sure what I was doing, so I tried the hollow silicone sound first.
It was only about three inches long and frankly looked less lethal.
I smothered it in lube and gently inserted it into my dick. It seemed an alien thing to do and I can’t say it was a pleasurable experience, no matter how careful I was and how much lube I used.
I tried the metal sound next.
This one felt nice – it had weight to it and was cold, but warmed up in my hands.
It slid in far more easily than the silicone one – almost too easily. I had to keep a firm grip on it to stop it sliding in too fast. It felt strange but nice – sometimes it felt like I was going to pee, but didn’t.
It was certainly exciting and there was no way I could use its full length.
Although I wasn’t sure about it to start with, I’m planning to give it another go. I can definitely see how some people might enjoy it.
As he already knew what he was doing, James tried a set of Sinner silicone sounds, which are much longer and more flexible than the regular metal ones.
He said:
I’ve enjoyed sounding for a long time and often use medical grade stainless steel or titanium sounds for play, but the silicone version was unfamiliar.
Because they’re light and flexible, I couldn’t rely on gravity, but it did allow me to push deeper than normal, towards my prostate. The silicone wasn’t as smooth as metal and it needed to be constantly re-lubed.
I could feel the bumps applying pressure deep inside my cock and I got great pleasure from gently and rhythmically pushing and pulling the rods by about an inch.
It felt like more force was required compared to the traditional metal sounds, for both insertion and extraction, and the silicon needs a lot of lube. I’m keeping these for more extensive testing.
Armed with all the information I was ever going to get, it seemed only fair that I give this thing a go myself.
The first thing that occurred to me was that I had no recollection of ever actually noticing my own urethra, despite having peed out of it successfully for several decades.
It took a mirror and a fair bit of contortion to figure it out. I can honestly say that I never once thought I’d be writing a feature about hunting out my pee hole with a mirror, but what’s life without a bit of adventure?
I’d been sent the Sinner urethral dilator, with assurances that it was suitable for complete beginners. Which it definitely is – it’s super flexible and utterly non-scary. But would my most delicate bits agree with me?
I can see what Jess means by the excitement coming from doing something that seems ‘wrong’. It’s way up there on the chart of ‘weird sex things that most people never do’, so if you like the idea of being on the naughty list then sounding might well float your boat.
I didn’t find my attempts very sexy to start with, but that was more to do with the fact that I was contorting like a short-sighted yogi and definitely needed the mirror to see what I was doing.
Loads of lube helps – I used the sterile sachet type, to be absolute sure of cleanliness. And this isn’t something you can ask a partner to help with – you need to be fully aware of what you’re doing and taking care every step of the way.
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All that said, sounding definitely gives sensations the like of which you’re not going to get any other way – it is bizarrely delicious.
So will I keep trying it? Absolutely.
Blogger Ruffled Sheets is the absolute expert on all things sounding-related.
And if you want more visual advice, Jess Wilde is here for you.
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Violet Fenn is a freelance writer and blogger. She can be found at Sex, Death, Rock’n’Roll.
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