Oh, dating trends. We do love it when the appalling state of our love lives gets a catchy new name.
And now, it’s time to talk about the dick and dash.
The dick and dash is not a new thing. Also known as the hump and dump, or hitting and quitting, the act has been around since the dawn of sex-having – but it’s now getting attention in the grand world of internet content.
The dick and dash is when you use someone for sex then either break up with them or go ahead and ghost ’em instead.
Essentially, you have sex, then the relationship is over. Mission accomplished. You only wanted the other person for sex, nothing more.
While in a world of one night stands and casual hookups, a relationship purely for the purposes of sex can be perfectly acceptable. As long as both people know what they’re committing to (or not committing to), they can go ahead and have unattached sex, great orgasms, then move on.
The dick and dash is something different. It’s sending all the signs that you’re committing to a longterm relationship, then dumping someone after they’ve given you what you were after: a sex sesh.
This isn’t okay, because it’s misleading, it’s playing with someone’s emotions, and really, it’s pretty unnecessary – you really don’t need to trick people into having sex with you, because there are plenty of people who’d be up for casual sex. If you’re pretending to be invested in more, you’re the dick in the ‘dick and dash’ equation.
It’s worth noting that the phrase ‘dick and dash’ is fairly heterocentric, with definitions referring only to men dicking and dashing women. But the reality is that women are perfectly capable of the act too – because women, too, can enjoy casual sex without commitment (shocker).
So, how can you tell if you’re about to become victim of a d*ck and dash?
You pretty much just need to trust your gut.
Are things moving oddly quickly? Is your date showering you with romantic gestures and speeches about how they’re really, really into you? Are your dates composed of flirting, flashy displays, and not much of the whole ‘getting to know each other’ bit?
If it all seems too good to be true, if your date’s affections seem surface level, and you have a sneaking suspicion that all is not what it seems, you, my friend, may be getting dick and dashed.
Of course, this isn’t necessarily an awful thing. As long as you don’t buy into the nonsense and understand what’s really doing on, there’s nothing to stop you from enjoying the dick and dash as a enjoyable romp with no bother afterwards. Lovely.
It’s only if you become emotionally invested that the dick and dash will mess with your mind.
If you suspect a dick and dash is looming, there are a couple of ways you can deal with things.
You can confront your date head on, ask them point blank what they want, and see how they react. A sweaty forehead and darting eyes are not good signs.
You can try to steer things away from sexual stuff and see if they’re still interested in getting to know you.
You can evaluate your own feelings and see if you want to get out of there first.
But whatever you do, do not let someone’s choice to dick and dash reflect on your own self-worth. If you’re victim of a dick and dash, remember that there’s nothing wrong with having sex outside of a relationship. The issue isn’t with you – it’s with the person being sneaky and conniving all to get into your pants.
You are not to blame for someone thinking that the only way they can get laid is through deception.