Enlarge / Ellie Creed (Jeté Laurence) visits the Pet Sematary.Paramount Pictures

The good news about this week's remake of the 1989 film Pet Sematary is that it's better than the original. The bad news is that this week's stab (pun intended) at a Stephen King story barely got its feet over that incredibly low bar.

Pet Sematary, after all, remains one of the darkest King properties to come out of the author's booze-and-coke '80s period, and while the book burnt up early '80s sales charts and critics' lists, the same couldn't be said for its garbage 1989 film adaptation. The best I can say about the new film is that it really swims a few laps in that boozy, drug-filled pool and relishes its bad-film origins. The result, however, is far more comedic than any trailer would indicate.

“They spelled it wrong!”

  • A new house in the country. What could possibly go wrong? Paramount Pictures
  • Rachel Creed (Amy Seimetz) has a moment of apprehension. Paramount Pictures
  • Louis Creed (Jason Clarke) is just trying to start a new life for his family in Maine. Paramount Pictures
  • Two-year-old Gage Creed (Hugo and Lucas Lavoie). Paramount Pictures.
  • "The ground is bad." Paramount Pictures
  • Local children in creepy masks bury their deceased pets in the "Pet Sematary." Paramount Pictures
  • The family cat, Church, isn't quite himself anymore. Paramount Pictures
  • Who's that climbing through the window? Paramount Pictures
  • It's never a good sign when a strange child in an animal mask shows up in your house at night. Paramount Pictures

Let's review: family moves to the woods to "get away from it all." Family is initially stoked about the massive backyard in their new property, only to learn via one Google search that it's linked to a few really troubling stories about murders and animals, uh, coming back to life. The property also has a very short driveway that leads to a two-lane, 60mph highway with no gate.

Plus, 30 minutes in, we learn that the stay-at-home mom in this family has unresolved childhood trauma about… being left alone in a creepy old house. Good thing that issue won't get triggered any time soon!

All of this, plus a random procession of silent, mask-wearing children into their property's backyard animal cemetery ("they spelled it wrong!" the daughter cries) and a single, painfully creepy neighbor who stares at the family through a window while smoking a cigarette, set the tone for Pet Sematary's endless, obvious, obnoxious plot shifts into "terrifying" paths.

Meaning: what seemed creepy or exciting in the film&#0Read More – Source

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Ars Technica

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