My outfit in the office today has become the buzz of Washington, D.C., and the entire media world.
Today, I wrote a spiffy blue polo, khaki pants and my trademark black Nike shoes. You can see a photo below. Im not going to point out that my hair and eyes look outstanding. Lots of people are pointing that out, but I dont need to hype myself up. A less humble man would.
David Hookstead (Credit: David Hookstead)
Naturally, it took absolutely no time before just about everybody noticed what I was wearing. It was like the Met Gala 2.0.
Manager of a bowling alley OR Editor in Chief of the Smokeroom?
Let us know in the comments https://t.co/eDmhcU34D6
— The Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) May 8, 2018
Manager of the bowling alley
— Ronald Blue (@ronin1963) May 8, 2018
But did she say the same thing about Zuckerberg?
— Trump Party (@AtlantaPopRock) May 8, 2018
Yeah, thats right. Apparently, I dress the same way that Mark Zuckerberg does. Youve probably heard of him. Hes the tech billionaire behind Facebook, and he pretty much runs the internet.
Look, Im really not trying to brag about myself here. Im simply asking the people what they think. Yes, I could bring up my gorgeous blue eyes that have captured the hearts of countless women. Yes, I could talk about my absurdly athletic build that would remind most people of an NFL defensive back. When I was 16 years old, there wouldnt have been any hesitation to do those things. Im a more mature man these days. A man who eats vegetables and doesnt feel the need to brag. Props to me.
Heres the point I want to drive home. Youre an idiot if you think I look more like a bowling alley manager or a Dicks Sporting Goods employee than I look like a leader of men. You want a guy like me in the boardroom. You need a guy like me in the war room. You think Im over here to spray down bowling shoes and point in the direction of the footballs? Should I ask if you want a refill on your flat bowling-alley beer? Fat chance.
Im sure some of you are going to make fat jokes and talk about how big my man boobs are. Go ahead and do it. The list of my enemies who will eventually be crushed grows by the minute. I imagine its the same for other leaders of men. You ever heard of Donald Trump? Hes the guy running the country and hes got a list miles long.
You wish you had my hair, my eyes, my athletic build and my attitude to wear whatever I want. Most guys dress to impress women. Youve already lost the game if thats your strategy. My strategy is to simply walk through the door. Thats the attitude that made me a winner in this life and brought The Smoke Room to the top of the mountain.
Let my man Kenny Powers take it away to conclude this message from the king of the internet.
Rejoice in our rise or cower in fear. Either way, Im still going to dress like the damn king of an empire.