If I was choosing the ‘greatest’ adult product ever then it would have to be the Sybian, because nothing is ever going to beat an industrial sex machine that is powerful enough to make the floorboards – and your teeth – rattle.
But for regular use, I will state right here and now that you will never find anything better than the Doxy.
It’s the toy I keep coming back to, partly because of its simplicity.
Instead of having endless options and apps like so many sex toys these days, it does one thing – but it does it brilliantly.
It’s also really nicely designed: heavy and sturdy enough to withstand endless sexy sessions but compact enough to pack in your overnight bag.
Based on the infamous Hitachi Magic Wand ‘personal massager’, the Doxy was born when founder Will Garland couldn’t find a suitable replacement for his girlfriend’s broken Hitachi.
Hitachi Magic Wands were designed as a back massager but became the bestselling sex toy in North America when sex educators and TV shows brought attention to the potential clitoral stimulation offered by this big powerful mains-operated vibrator.
But Hitachi didn’t want to be associated with a sex toy and ceased production in 2013.
The only way to get hold of one in the UK was to find a unit on the ‘grey market’ and purchase a voltage transformer, as they were wired for US sockets.
The other option was to buy a cheap imported copy which could be potentially dangerous and tended not to work for very long.
The massage head of the Hitachi Magic Wand was made from cast metal, and it just so happened that Mr Garland knew someone who owned a factory in Cornwall, casting scaffold joints.
‘I figured that if you can cast scaffold joints all you needed to do was make a mould and you could start casting wand massager heads, so we went into business together making wand massagers,’ explained Mr Garland.
‘We called it Doxy after the old fashioned word for a “floozy”. It took two years to get the design right and source the components that we couldn’t make ourselves,’ he said.
He turned up at the 2013 adult products trade show ETO with a table, a pull-up banner and the first prototype Doxy Massager, where he met the buyers from Lovehoney and Simply Pleasure.
After the show Simply Pleasure placed a big order and a few weeks later Lovehoney also starting stocking the Doxy Massager.
Mr Garland said: ‘Both companies still stock our products and now you can buy Doxy products in hundreds of stores around the world.
‘We make around 1,000 units a week and export to Europe, the US and Australia.
‘Doxy is the only volume manufacturer of vibrating sex toys in the UK.’
So what makes me love and recommend Doxy so much? Put simply, it works.
And I mean than in an ‘Oh god please don’t stop oh oh stop stop aargh no don’t stop aaaarrghh!’ kind of way.
It’s used as an external vibrator with easily varied intensity, and if you’re a woman who gets off on direct clitoral stimulation (or perineal – men can play happily with the Doxy as well, with a bit of imagination), then applying a really hefty, mains-powered massager to that area has pretty explosive results.
A Doxy doesn’t have endless options to think about – there are just three buttons: on/off, up and down.
The power button also scrolls through the pulse options – I’ve tried them out of curiosity and they’re great if you like that sort of thing, but I’m a ‘just switch it on and leave it on’ kind of girl so I never bother changing it from a straight killer buzz.
Because a Doxy is so well made, vibrations don’t travel up your arm from it as much as they do with some wands.
This might sound unimportant, but if like me you suffer from repetitive strain injury (I get it from typing, before anyone suggests the obvious) that’s triggered by vibrations, it’s an important plus point.
People tend to give you the side-eye if you say you’re taking the day off work because of a w*nking injury.
You can use it alone, or get a partner to torment you with it.
I can highly recommend being tied up first (safe words and easy release knots go without saying) so that you can’t escape, because however much you might think you want to make it stop, it really is the most delicious torture ever devised.
I was given my first Doxy as a gift from my partner a few years ago and have since acquired two more – first the Die Cast and then the ‘‘new old’ Doxy, which is basically a reworked and perfected version of my original.
All of them do the same thing and they have never, ever let me down.
Their latest model is the Doxy Number 3 which at first glance is simply a smaller, compact version of the original.
This in itself is an advantage because it is easier to hold and doesn’t weigh down weak wrists.
The head is smaller and the whole thing is just prettier and more delicate, without losing its industrial capabilities.
I assumed that it would work in exactly the same way as my older Doxys, so happily settled down to try it out.
Oh. My. God.
I don’t know whether it’s because of the more compact design, but I have never felt intensity like it. And I have tested a lot of sex toys over the years.
My head quite literally felt as though it was going to burst, as well as floundering in paroxysms of delight I was simultaneously (and quite genuinely) wondering whether I was going to have to call for an ambulance.
This time I stuck with it and my boyfriend tried his best not to look too taken aback at the amount of shrieking and hollering that was going on.
Then the strangest thing happened – as the explosion hit, I was overcome with such intensity of feelings that I burst out laughing.
Proper howling belly laughs that I couldn’t stop however hard I tried.
Every time I thought I’d calmed down it would start again, to the point where I was gasping for breath with hysterical tears running down my face and my boyfriend was clearly wondering whether he was going to have to make that phone call after all.
I can only assume that the sheer intensity of the sensations caused by the Doxy 3 unleashed some inner emotions, but I’m not complaining: intense orgasms and the most fun I’ve had in years? I’ll take that.
It isn’t just me that has strong feelings about the Doxy 3 – this blog post by Girl on the Net contains the best audio review of a sex toy I have ever heard (not only is it absolutely NSFW, it’s also not suitable for anything other than consenting adult ears).
The forcefulness of the Doxy experience means that it isn’t going to be for everyone, but if you’ve tried wand vibrators and know you like them, then I cannot recommend this thing highly enough.